Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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