Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize