Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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