Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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