it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
