Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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