Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
