there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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