people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
