We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize