Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
