I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
