i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
