I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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