I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
