Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
