my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
