I'm really into asian looking animals
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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