I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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