break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
