even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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