i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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