i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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