Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
