I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
