the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
