We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
