playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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