I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
