I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
