Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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