yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
