Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
