Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
