Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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