i need an iv and a liver transplant
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
