Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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