The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
