thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
