i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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