So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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