HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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