its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were destined to go to rehab together
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
