I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
