he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize