; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize