She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
