Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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