Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
