All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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