I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
