The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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