I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
