i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
