Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
