She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
