Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
